Hello. Hello. Hello. Hey there. Pretty Janes it’s your girl R. Joyce. And we are back for another episode of Being Jane’s podcast. And today we are talking about TI and the reason we are talking about TI because he revealed in another podcast that he goes with his daughter once a year to check her hymen to make sure she’s still a virgin. Yep, yep. You heard that right. And if you don’t know who TI is, he is a rapper and he also has his own podcast and he has a reality TV show about his family. So yeah, he recently said this and when I first heard this I was like WTF? Like what is wrong with this man? Like, like seriously, like what is wrong with him? And I also thought this poor baby, this poor girl like this, I can’t imagine what this is doing with her relationship with herself, with how she sees herself with value, with her sexual relationship as she matures. Like I couldn’t imagine. So a little more about her, his daughter. She is now 18 but it seems like from the podcast that he has been doing this a while. He doesn’t say when he started, but you can tell it wasn’t the first time just based on the podcast. And I believe that she’s not happy with this in my opinion. She never said anything. She has not spoken publicly about this. But when people went to Twitter after hearing his statement and they said this is um, invasion of privacy, this is embarrassing, things like that. She liked a number of those tweets. So in my opinion, I believe she’s not happy with it. And who would, who would be happy with that type of invasion of privacy and embarrassing moment? Like all of it is just so unfortunate. And then I thought like what would he have done if she was in the virgin, right? Which the idea that your hymen being attacked determines that you are a virgin or not is false. It has been debunked so many times. And planned Parenthood did an excellent job of putting up a post explaining, um, why your hymen can be broken for a number of reasons, including sports or riding a bike or using a tampon. That does not mean that you are not a virgin just because your hymen is broke and the, the post was on social media. It was full of sass and shade, which I lived for, but it was also really full of great information. So yeah, I was thinking if her hymen is broken, like what happens? Like what type of stress is that for that girl. Like it’s just, it’s just a lot. It was a lot. It really all led to two things. One, a woman’s value is so placed on her sexuality, whether it is her being a virgin or how many sexual partners she have, like her worth as a mate, as a wife, as a spouse in societies pecking order. So much of that is based on her sexuality and this ridiculous double standard that does not judge men on this. So getting back to women being judged on it. And as I was thinking about this, I was like, it’s almost like you know how when you go buy a car, right? And they say as soon as you drive off the lot, like it decreases by almost 50% in value. The depreciation, that’s how I feel women are treated when it comes to their virginity, right? As soon as a woman has sex, it’s like, oh, depreciation value 50% you’re no longer a virgin. Like that’s what women are taught. We are taught to hold onto it. That is sacred, to cherish it and all that stuff. And let me go, let me say this. Sexuality is very important. You should not lightly give up your virginity. I would never teach of a woman that or a girl that. You should not lightly just give up your body sexually if you don’t want to. So it is an important decision. But like I said, I’m about educating young girls on sexuality so they have the tools to make the decision. Instead of trying to tell them, nope, don’t do it. It’s just not a good decision. That is what I’m against because again, we’re putting so much value on them being a virgin. So after they lose their virginity, what they already see themselves as less valued than maybe their friend who has not lost virginity yet. Do you know what I’m saying? So that is my issue with the virginity piece. Now, once you lost your virginity and you’re a woman that likes to have a lot of sex, a little sexually liberated than a whole other set of standards and judgment comes down from the heaven and it’s the double standard, right? Where, women are penalized for having more sexual partners. Um, they’re judged, they are deemed less worthy. They are not girlfriend material, they are not wife material. They just like to sleep around all these things. And again, a person who is practicing sexual responsibility really can have as much sex as they want to and should have no judgment. Yes. Even if it’s a woman. Another thing, another thing that I thought about is that women tend to judge other women more critical than even men do when it comes to sexual partners. So if a woman knows that a woman has a lot of sexual partners, she looks down on her. But I think that goes back to the value system, right? Because the values shows that the less sexual partners you have, the more valuable you are. So in her mind she’s, she’s better than this woman who chose to sleep around. She has standards and she has morals and she is better. And that might not be the case because again, just because you chose not to have sex with a lot of people does not make you a good woman or high value woman. It just mean you chose not to have sex with a lot of men. It’s really that. And what’s really crazy, going back to the TI situation really quick, is that I watched a number of blogs and YouTube commentary on this. And I saw a number of women saying, well if TI I taught his wife, I’m sorry if TI taught his daughter good values, you won’t have to worry about her losing her virginity or sleeping with a lot of men. And I was disgusted because these women were saying what TI did was wrong…they said that, But then their counterpart or one of their talking points were, well, if you taught good values, then she wouldn’t sleep around. Sleeping with people is not good or bad values. And I need us to stop saying that because some women naturally like to have more sex. Some women don’t. So the women who choose, who naturally don’t want to have lot of sex will and have lower sex drive. That’s fine. The women who naturally do like to have sex and have more sex drive, that’s fine too. But just because a woman choose to have a lot of sex does not mean that she doesn’t have good values or she wasn’t taught good values. So that goes back to women pushing this same stereotype, that values women based on the number of partners they’ve had. And that is just wrong. Absolutely wrong. And while we’re still on TI, really quick, talking about the double standard piece of this whole equation in TI’s family reunion, one of the episodes, his reality show, his 14 year old son at the time his son was 14 revealed that he was no longer version in front of TI, in front of his mother, in front of the siblings and TI wasn’t upset about it at all. That showed me that your concern was not about STDs, it was not about getting somebody pregnant. It was not about any of that because that is a big issue for both men and females, which goes back to sexual responsibility. Your issue was simply the act of having sex. And for your son you didn’t care. And for your daughter you did. And that is absolutely crazy. And I know the slow dramatic pause, but it’s crazy. So as I’m thinking about all this right, and even as I talk about it now, there’s no real solution. Like I’m a problem solver, I’m solution oriented or at least the next steps, right, to get you headed in the right direction. But this moral, I’m using moral in quotation marks or this value system is so ingrained in our culture. Now, has it gotten a little better? Yeah, a little bit but overall women being penalized for having more sexual partners and valued based on sexual partners is still very much ingrained in our culture at a very high level. Very, very much so. And really the only way to change it is to like change those stereotypes and those traditions to like let that go. But that is not going to be easy because in 2019 we are still dealing with it. And also reading a lot of the comments about TI you could see a lot of people actually agree with him now. Overall commentary was okay, he’s doing too much. Like this is disgusting. Stop it. Invasion of privacy, different levels of that. But if you actually read the comments, which I do, a lot of people agree with him. Or felt he was being a good father. Felt like all these things. And that’s again going back to they feel like he’s protecting his daughter and keeping her value up because women are valued based on sexual partners. I know I keep saying the same thing over again, but it’s true. It is so true. So we have to change that, that stereotype and that’s going to take some time. Like I already know it’s not going to happen in my lifetime. It might take generations. Yeah. But we got to alk about it. We got to have the conversation. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I’m still just at a loss that this is still happening. Yeah. So I would try to find the original podcast or podcast clips and link it for you. I will put it on BeingJanePodcast.com. Um, so you can actually hear TI and what he said. So go to BeingJanePodcast.com, there you can check out the actual podcast at TI did. I will also post screenshots of Planned Parenthood posts about the hymen, which is great. So let me know your thoughts as always, this is about discussing and vibing. Do you agree? Do you disagree? Do you have a totally different point of view that I do not know about? Let me know in the comments below? Because like I said, to shift this, we got to talk about it. Well, that’s it for today. Until next time, stay healthy.  

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